faulker009

Hi and Thanks. Those three words were on the subject line of a recent email I received from a loyal reader. On the surface, it looked a whole lot like so many of the other incredible emails of support I have received since I started writing this blog nearly four months ago. But there was something inside that was not so ordinary. The note, from a wonderful 26-year old with her entire life in front of her, spoke about how she recently moved back in with mom and dad because her paid internship had ended and she couldn’t get a full-time job. She was working two jobs and was still not able to pay the rent to live on her own.   She said that many of her friends are going through similar troubles and that it's hard not to get bogged down in the negative. I hear you sister. She said that my blog inspired her to restart her own blog in “an attempt to express some of my feelings about this new world I’m entering.” That’s where many notes I have received just like it, ended. But not hers. Sh...

Each time I write a new blog, one of my top priorities is making it entertaining for you. I truly appreciate you taking time out of your life to read about mine. I must warn you, this blog is different. This time I am writing it for me and I have a feeling it will be a long one. If you can't take it and you need to leave, I totally understand. All I ask is that you give me another chance next time. Writing my blog has been one of the most therapeutic experiences of my life and considering the stressful recipe that my life is cooking up these days, it is great to have an outlet. I am writing this blog in the computer room at my 80-year old mother’s assisted living facility. It is currently 12:07am and it will be much later when I finish. As I unfortunately predicted a few weeks ago, she was on the verge of another bipolar episode. Well, it is here. Loud and clear. We’ve been trying to head this one off by adjusting her medication, but unfortunately it isn't ...

I enjoy puzzles, even though I’m not very good at them. I love putting together jigsaw puzzles with the kids -- even though they see the answers A LOT sooner than I do. I love crossword puzzles -- as long as it's People Magazine and not the New York Times. But the one puzzle that I've been playing the longest and will never be able to figure out is bipolar disorder. As in my mom's bipolar disorder. Over the years, my brother and I have definitely learned how to recognize an episode in the early stages, but no matter how hard we try or hold our breath, there’s nothing we can do to stop it. I guess it must be like falling onto a train track and seeing the light coming your way. The warnings signs have become clear as day, but the only thing you can do is put on a seat belt and get her some help. When she calls at random hours on a very frequent basis with nothing to say, that’s warning #1. When the ratio of her words to mine during a conversation is like 99:...

My 80-year old mother and I have a great relationship. For as long as I can remember, there has NEVER been a time that she wasn’t on my side. She is patient with me. She is supportive. She has never judged any decision that I have made. Did I mention that she is bipolar? She’s been called a lot of names over the years, from manic-depressive to chemical imbalance to just plain crazy, but to me, she’s just mom. It has taken me a long time to accept the fact that her behavior is out of her control. It has taken her a long time to accept that there are medications that can help her. Unfortunately, my mom was dealt a bad set of cards. She didn’t know her father. She lost her five-year old daughter to a terrible accident. She sat by and watched her eldest son battle cancer for two years. Bipolar? I believe the appropriate diagnosis for her is, unlucky. Even with all that she has been put through, she wakes up every day with just one goal in mind -- love life. Somedays, tha...